5 December, 2006

Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex

Te vinden onder: Uncategorized — @ 5:21

Voor de (hetero)man die nog niet verward en neurotisch genoeg is: Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex:

1 Going straight for the naughty bits
2 Not knowing how to kiss sensitively
3 Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones
4 Not stroking and caressing her
5 Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child
6 Biting on her earlobe because you think it’s sexy
7 Leaving a hickey on her neck like a teenage badge of honor
8 Not shaving before sex
9 Not washing your pits and bits before you have sex
10 Forgetting she has a sensuous body waiting to be stroked
11 Trying to get your fingers in her underwear before she’s ready
12 Dropping the condom on the floor
13 Going straight for the clitoris during oral sex or masturbation
14 Breaking off just as she’s getting to the point where she wants you to keep going at all costs
15 Undressing her clumsily
16 Undressing yourself inelegantly – which includes taking your socks off after your underwear
17 Expecting her to shave for you
18 Sticking a finger up her vagina before she’s ready, willing and able
19 Entering her without asking her first
20 Pecking away around her vagina with your penis if you can’t find the way in
20 Pumping away without regard for her pleasure
21 Expecting her to make love bottom up
22 Thrusting too hard
22 Coming before she’s got excited or begun to enjoy sex
23 Not coming at all – or losing your erection when you put the condom on
24 Asking her how it was for her
25 Not going down on her when she wants oral pleasure
26 Failing to give her pleasure if you come quickly
27 Trying to force her head towards your cock
28 Trying to force her head further down on her cock when she’s giving you oral
29 Holding her head when she goes down on you
30 Coming in her mouth without asking her if it’s OK
31 Thinking that a porno movie has anything to do with real life
32 Switching on a hard core porn film without asking whether that’s OK with her
33 Apologizing for the size of your penis
34 Answering honestly when she asks you what your last lover was like
35 Asking her if she’d mind if her girlfriend joined you
36 Making her do all the work
37 Trying to slip it in the back door by “accident”
38 Photographing or videoing your lovemaking
39 Getting into the same old same old routine every time you have sex
40 Not romancing her
41 Slapping her buttocks without checking if she’s into a little dominance play
42 Trying to do sex by the book (or the film)
43 Playing with her anus before she’s excited enough to appreciate it
44 Deafening her by shouting in her ear when you come
45 Talking dirty without checking if she likes it
46 Lying on top of her without supporting your weight on your arms
47 Ejaculating on her without asking permission
48 Not controlling your ejaculation
49 Not spending some time with her in your arms after sex
50 Not cleaning up after sex

Mannen aller slag en kunde, haal uw slechtse sexherinneringen boven en post ze aub in de reacties, opdat we een lijst kunnen samenstellen met de 50 meest verschrikkelijke vergissingen die vrouwen kunnen begaan tijdens sex met ons. Want Google geeft ons niks.


reacties (6)


6 reacties, »

  1.   Reactie van Sofie , op 5 December, 2006 @ 16:41

    Pfieuw.
    een hele lijst.
    Ik ben benieuwd naar de “Fifty Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex”.

  2.   Reactie van  Chipo , op 5 December, 2006 @ 17:20

    Vrouwen maken nou eenmaal geen vergissingen behalve af en toe in de keus van een man.

  3.   Reactie van nathan , op 5 December, 2006 @ 21:26

    lol@chipo ;-)

  4.   Reactie van Eve , op 7 December, 2006 @ 1:23

    1. Niet tegelijkertijd liefkozend en aanbiddend maar toch afstandelijk genoeg zijn om hem geen bindingsangst te bezorgen?
    2. Pauzeren tijdens het pijpen.
    3. Een gesprek aanknopen achteraf.

    allez, ge gaat u toch niet door MIJ laten doen he!:-) Ik kan nog even doorgaan;-)

  5.   Reactie van elkse , op 8 December, 2006 @ 18:39

    1. over prestaties van andere minnaars beginnen en die ook vergelijken
    2. de afmetingen van de penis van andere minnaars vergelijken
    3. beginnen over de rekeningen die nog betald moeten worden
    4. beginnen over zijn moeder, of nog erger over zijn schoonmoeder

    enz…..

  6.   Reactie van Astrakanko , op 12 December, 2006 @ 20:25

    Terwijl je net denkt dat je lekker bezig bent en zij evenzeer van jou geniet als jij van haar, de vraag stellen of je goed bent in plafonds schilderen.

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